skye

new favourite song : got my list
new favourite movie : Dakota skye

why is it that romantic india movies make me want to run away? run away somewhere far away.. Somewhere where no one knows who i am. Where i come from, what i've gone through. Somewhere where they don't know me to be that hopeless romantic that isnt going anywhere.
Somewhere where, i could be free to be myself, free to love the things i love. And for those things to love me back.

if you were going to jump off a building, and it was your death coming apon you. Which way would you fly? would you face up to the sky, and enjoy the ride until you crash at the bottom and die. Or would you face the road, so you knew when you were going to die.

For me, i like having a plan, i like knowing whats going to happen in my future and whats not going to happen. i like to know what im doing that evening when its only 7 o'clock in the morning. I like to know what im going to wear the night before i even think about wearing these clothes.
but i know none of these plans work out. I will change my plans through out the day, i will change my clothes 20 times before i pick what to wear.
so, i would face the sky. Enjoy the ride and watch the birds soar by you while you wish your life away.

what happens when youre someone you know youre not supposed to be? but you know the person you are suppose to be, just isnt you?

regrets

some people believe depression is something within the person, and something in the mind.
but how can something in the mind affect the body so much?
affect the soul,
and the tears that stream down my face.

i fucking hate everything i have become,
i fucking hate the people i thought i could trust and it got ruined.
i hate that something so little as nothing ruined me,
ruined what i loved so much.
something that will never get fixed.

i need help.

what happens when youre changing, and you know its for the worst?

what do you do..

i was blind, but now i can see

i've began to realize a lot of things, things that i didn't think i could realize or realize but i did.

love;
i have realized that no matter the age you are, no matter the person you are.. you will fall in love. and it may not be with the first or second person you've loved but you will fall deep into the place where you are uncontrollably in love with someone. this person will become your everything, and you won't want to lose them.
i have found that person.
no matter the fights, or the arguments, i always will come back, i will always be yours.
because, i love you.

i have also realized that family will always be there for you. They might not be with you physically all the time, but they will always be the ones there for you.

Friends come and go (other then jasmine) but family is forever.

family will help you out when you don't think theres a way out.

family has become my life again, and i am so thankful for that 

<3

this problem is going to last more then the weekend.

why is it that music can make you feel so close to something, but not actually be close to it at all. it makes you feel like everything is going to be okay, when in reality you know it won't be ookay.

maybe you won't be okay, maybe you wont smile forever and be happy. And maybe just maybe youll crumble down and fall. but even thinking about that then listening to one happy song makes you reconsider your life. Your surroundings and it makes you realize life in the end will be worth it.

It will be worth growing up, and moving on. Leaving the life a simple teenager lives and becoming something way more important in the world.
Something you won't know until you mature enough to say youre mature.

Something you wont know until your smile is real.

i have been thinking a lot lately, and i am not sure if i like what i am thinking about.
i got into school for next year for tv and radio journalism. and i know thats what i want to do, and i know ill be good at it, its just scary.
thinking about someone actually "reading" my writing, and me writing for a living.
i don't know if its possible for me?

I also don't know what love is, well i mean i fully know what it is.
i feel it all the time.
the one thing i don't understand is why if everyone says its the best feeling in the world, why you feel so fucking shitty when plans get ruined or you don't talk to a special someone all day.
it may be the best feeling in the world, but it sure as hell can put knots in your stomach.

fact; i miss you..

jesus christ that's a pretty face

What happened to being young and in love? And what happened to if you're in love you are only in love with that one person?
And what happened to sluts keeping to themselves and not trying to ruin others relationships even though they don't even live in your town.

how i wish i knew the answers to this, but i am far from it and it really makes me sick to my stomach. Sick to my stomach that i could have lost the one person in my life right now to that bitch who seems to always be around and messes up my relationships.
But not to dwell on sluts and hoes.

I have great news, not other did i have the worst day today of my life, but it made me think about a lot. It made me think that getting accepted into the school i got accepted into may be a great new start for me. A start i wouldn't get at another university where i just sat around in a huge class and took notes. The school i am going to is going to be hands on and a life changing thing.

its going to be magical.

When i think about school, and moving away i think about the chances i am going to have. I am going to have so many more options then i would have before, and soon enough people are going to pay for my writing. MY writing that i do just for fun, i will make some money off of it. I dont know if anyone really follows this, and in reality i don't care. I just do it because its my escape from the real world. 

Things are going to be ok <3