easy as can be

Love isn't perfect. It isn't a fairytale or a storybook  and it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it together.

breakeven

what happens when you think youre in love, and then you break up. and what happens when even though youre broken up, you see things that break your heart again into a million different pieces?
and what happens when you don't know what is going on, and you cry for hours just on end.
what happens when all you do is want to sleep and listen to sad music and eat.
because that is how i am feeling right now. and when it comes to all this drama/stressful times, i have to remember i am in the middle of my last year of high school.
i have to remember all the people judging me on a daily basis.

all and all, it makes me want to more even more to halifax than i want to now.
i want to start fresh, where no one knows me and my past.
i want to make a new life for me, a life that i was never able to achieve.
and i am going to achieve this life in the summer of 2011.

watch out, because i am not going to give up, no matter how fucking shitty things get in my life.
i will keep my chin up, i will not back down even though i want to so bad.
i am better than everything my life is putting me through now.

i am molly, and i am going to be something someday.

just forget the world

what happens to a 17 year old, who thinks they know everything, then all of a sudden their world changes.
their thoughts become like scrambled eggs, and everything becomes different.
what happened when they don't know anything anymore? well, at this point in time i am feeling that way. i feel like my life is a blur and i am not sure when i want to be able to see again.
i know what i want in my life, and i know what i want in the future,
but when i really think about it, is that what i want?
it may be, but do i really think i can achieve things to get that far in life?
no, i don't and to tell everyone the truth.
i don't think there is a reason why i should right now get to that point.

i miss my old life, my old friends, my family, and i miss ontario.
i miss waking up in a house where my real family was, i hate being an orphan.
i want it all back, but i know there is no way of getting everything back.
there is no possible way i can see that i will ever become the person i want to be.
and right now, at this point where i am, i don't think i care too much about it.

growth

Nothing is ever calm in the light of the day,
And when it turns dark outside and when the lights shut off it still doesn’t change.

On the other hand, people change though.
People change every second the clock is ticking.
Every second the water is dripping.

People change who they are, and who they need to be.
They change their styles, their words and their dreams.
They change the person they grew up as.

Never though does the world calm down while they are in this process.
Never do the people fade out though, when the lights do.

Humans are something impossible to understand in this world.
Just like time is.

What is time even?

What is there to live for in this world, when the time is clicking and ticking

What are humans even?

They are something the world made,
To feel the hurt of break ups,
To feel the love of make ups,
To feel the stress of waking up,
And to feel the accomplishments’ of growing up.

Yet,
While this is all happening every and each human feels pain.
The pain from other, themselves and the world.

Nothing is ever calm in this world, and humans will learn that as they grow.
As they grow up to be potentially something they don’t even want to be.

inspiration

I used to hate this town. I used to hate every single blade of grass on every hill, but he taught me so much. He taught me that it's not the job of this town to make me feel happy. It's not its fault that I don't fit in. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, because it's about where you are in your head. It's about the other world I inhabit. The world of dreams, hope, imagination, and memories.

Never think you are nothing. Never cry at night for not being pretty enough. And never tell yourself you're not good enough, because to someone out there, you're everything. And somebody else probably thinks the world of you. You may not know who they are, but they do exist. So don't ever think that way about yourself.

When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults. You don't look for answers. You don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes. You accept the faults and you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure. There are rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and who loves you in return. So once you have it, don't ever let go. The chance might never come your way again. 

quotes found on xanga. 

the things i see

i see that the world isn't something everyone wants to be in. i understand there are so many different types of people here, and i understand that these people do different things. Some go to school, some sell drugs. but at the end of the day. they are who they are, and they are that way because its what they want in life.

i see people always happy, cheerful and i get so envious of them. i don't understand how they can get the way they are and i can not. i can get happy for awhile, then i end up ruining it. i end up pushing people away like i did to my ex boyfriend of 13 months. i came to realize, i push the ones i love away. Away the furthest so i can't hurt them anymore. So i can be alone, because i have learned so well how i can be alone. Since i have been for the majority of my life.

Yes, i know i love him, and yes i know he could make me happy. But i pushed him away so i could just be alone, where i feel like i need to be. i do this to so many people and it scares me alot. it scares me that i wont grow up and be happy. that i will always push everyone away and never have what i truly want in life.

a family
a child

i need help if im ever going to be able to do that, and i just want to ask. the people i've pushed away in the past, its not you. its me. and i know thats cheesy and cliche or whatever it is.
but all in all its true. i do this to myself every single time, and i have no one else to blame for it. and who ever has been pushed away by me, remember you had nothing to do with it.

stuck in the movement

What do you have to live for,
When your world is coming down.
The sky is falling down, your heart is breaking.

What do you have to live for,
When your friends are moving on.
They are leaving to live their lives.

What do you have to live for,
When you don’t know what your life is going to be.
The options are open, but you are closed off to them.

You have everything to live for.
That’s the answer.

You have your family and friends to live for.
You have the possibilities to live for.
That’s the answer.

So, when you are stuck and in a rut
Look around you
Look around at the world you’re living in.

That is why you can not give up,
That is why the world is coming down
So you can start a new one.
A fresh one.

It’s not the end, it’s only the beginning now.
The beginning of the life that needs to be lived.