you and i

and just like that all my emotions are mixed up,
it's like its just starting right over again..
and honestly I'm terrified.

i'm terrified to be me because i don't exactly know who i am. I know who i want to be but who i want to be and who i am currently aren't exactly the same thing.

I have gone through so much in the past year and I for 99% of the stuff I wish i could take them back. I regret lying to the people who i loved because lying ruins things, and when things are ruined.. i become a monster.

I used to be a happy go to girl, someone who loved to go for walks, and adventure. Someone who I thought had a lot of friends, and people enjoyed spending time with her.

but now i feel like i've separated myself from a lot of those people who made me "me" I feel alone, and not wanted. I feel like I'm not the girl who i should be.

I sit here alone in my bed listening to music and thinking about this one person. Someone who was always there for me, but I did fuck it up. I ruined a lot, and I just hope things can change one day.. someday..

I just want to have a true smile on my face,
i want to be able to walk around and show off my love.
I want to be able to sit, watch movies, learn new things and just be head over heals.

Why will i always be a hopeless romantic?

I guess I should probably start to think about the realistic stuff, that sometimes it might just not work...

But, i guess i wear my heart on my sleeve and i hope for the best.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWp7tPe77Jk&feature=related