i hope that i'll make it

i have that feeling in my stomach where i just don't know.
the knots in my stomach won't leave me alone, and i just feel like i need a hug.
i need someone to tell me things are going to get better, and as much as some people say i am worth my time.

i want to be with my family, and i wanted to be cared for in my life.
i want to make a change.

i know i have fucked things up a fair share of times, and i finally fully take responsibility for that. And i know the people i have hurt personally, or in one way or another probably won't be reading this, i still want to say sorry for everything i have ever done. In the past months i have lost a handful of friends. And i know if they left, they werent great friends. But still, all in all i miss them.

They were in my life for some reason or another. So they still meant something to me. i will always remember our times we had. With all my old friends, and no matter the distance the world has made us, they will always still be special to me.

things have changed, and i know things will always still be changing. I just hate change way too much to be okay with it.

i don't know what i am trying to say, all im trying to say is im sorry and i hope i will eventually make up for all my mistakes in the future.

and i hope to god, this feeling inside my stomach will leave in time.