i have knots in my stomach.
the knots are for the life that is becoming, the life i have made which i hate.
i hate everything that has become, i am not the happy girl i used to be and that just isn't me.
life is not what i excepted it to be.
my friend from halifax hung herself the other day.
that just  makes it even more vital that life is not as good as "people" think it is.
things become fucked up, and people fuck up, and then things become more fucked up.
excuse my language.


but none the less,
thats all. i just wanted to say, im scared, and hating right about now.

oh and you know something else that royally upsets me?
when people make plans, which is family and then it doesnt happy. and i who is 17 has to figure it all out.
to get fucking christmas gifts. no, not my parent, they could never figure a way to get their only daughter gifts, the girl has to do it herself.
as always, always by herself.

fuck it right?