i get by

i don't think i will be able to ever accept myself for who i am or what i have become. life changes many things, but i did not think ever it had the ability to change me. But to my viewing it has.

or was i the one to change me?
i guess in the end, i myself did change me. and when i think about it again and again, i don't think i like this change.

i used to think a lot about the future, and what i wanted and how i wanted to go to school and do something really great in life. and as it turns out, i still want to do all that. I just don't want to go to school for it. i dont think i need to go to school to realize my potential to this world. I  think in the back of my mind i already know what it is and what i want to do.
it just now has to come forward and let me act apon it.

a lot has been going on lately, and i am sure no one is reading this, or if someone is they probably know about it. Since all of liverpool seems to know my whole life story even though i only have 5 friends pretty much.

bitches

anyways, i have learned that no matter what life throws at you, you in the end will have to dodge it to get by. And no matter what happens, people will always hate you.

That is the hard part for me, i never make choices based on myself. And then when i do, and hurt someone else, i end up feeling so guilty and it ruins everything even more.
i make decisions based on others, and not what i truly want.
but in all reality, i dont know what i truly want?

fml

this all makes no sense, just blah blahs.