maybe it's meant to be

i wish i wasn't such an option sometimes, it makes me feel so terrible with myself,

and i wish i knew exactly why i did the things i did, and why i pushed people close to me away because right now i could use some feel good words.

i just wish if they actually cared about me, they would show it, because when they don't it breaks my heart over and over again and i can't continue to be like this because my heart is going to be in pieces on the floor soon..

but why can't i change it? why do i put myself in these situations?