free your heart

you don't realize what you have until you lose it?
isnt that what it is..

shouldnt it be, you don't realize you deserve better until you stand up and leave?
if not, thats what i think it should be.

my life has become a hot mess of everything. and the only thing making it better is hot chocolate and good talks at the coffee shop.  i didnt realize how amazing my friends were until i had to deal with a pile of shit landing on me and them helping me through it.

After a year, wouldnt you think you knew someone? knew someone enough to see how they truely are..
i think i saw it, but was afaid to believe it. But the last straw happened, and i needed to change it. to make myself happy and healthy again. because i surely know i am not who i should be at this point in time.

i am in college, living alone, having great friends, but i cry before bed every night? i feel so lost and alone and miserable. that is just terribly wrong for someone like myself.
i am someone who is happy, someone who loves to be around people, to explore the city around them.
but right now, i just havent found that.

and i think since i lost the love of my life, maybe i will realize moping and being upset isnt worth my time.. my life.

i need to live for myself and be happy with myself.
before i can be with someone.
and if they don't plan on waiting, and if they plan on moving on to someone else.
they really are not worth my tears anymore.

i am me

that is all, i am so happy with my life.
but missing my old friends, and my friends i lost because of me being stupid.

perfect sense

i am so sick of past mistakes.
haunting you.
please just go away.

i got my list

today i am moving and i don't know how to feel about it. i am so excited to finally be out of halifax and go to dartmouth. closer to school, and closer to my friends.

 halifax was good, and i love the whole halifax scene, but i can make dartmouth just as good, and cheaper.

i can't believe i have been living in halifax for two months.. it just seems unreal.
my life is good here, but i miss my liverpool friends.
i love school, but i know i can do better than how i am doing.

my mind is just a bit flustered with the whole other genre.
on the 7th it will be mine and his one year. i love him so much and he is my everything. it's crazy we have been together for so long.

it doesnt seem like it's been a year. a year of firsts, and a year of lasts.

it blows my mind away knowing i will be out of school soon and starting to actually have a career. it's crazy to believe soon i will be in the industry living my dream.

if this is really my dream.. which i think it is?

anywho, radio show. ill write again tonight oxo

you know its haunting

do i deserve to be happy?
do i have the right to smile everyday?

am i know a nice girl that should have someone to tell me they miss me,
and not be so cold hearted.

shouldnt someone be lucky to have a girl like me?
someone who would do anything for their relationship and show them the world.

but i am stuck sitting alone, miserable at best.
and it kills me inside.

not to be wanted.

stuck on the edge, and i dont know what way to go

and what happens when you don't know exactly what to do. if you need to be strong and walk the road.
or be strong and walk it together.

live in halifax is a lot different than life in liverpool but i am starting to really enjoy it. i love my class family, and i love my friends i have. but having a life in two places takes a toll on you. it hurts losing friends, but it feels amazing gaining the ones i have gained.

im just alittle on the edge right now about how i want to play what is going on.

i want to write, and i want this course to become my life... and it already has.

... ill write more later.

spread your wings

Spread your wings, its time to fly away.
Fly away into a better spot.
A spot to be happy, and a spot to be wanted.

Soar to the places you’ve never been before,
The places you want to go, and you know you need to go.

Fly with someone that makes it meant to be
Fly with someone that makes you happy.
Fly and become the person you know you need to be.

Find a person to take away your pain,
Find a person that takes the tears and makes them into smiles.
Smiles so huge it could light up the sky..

You have the right to be happy,
You have the right to be wanted.
You are wanted, and you can be happy.

just pick up and fly again,
you'll see that you're meant to be.

many of horror

i feel like i have been shot in the back, the heart, and right in the face.
knowing nothing can ever get better anymore, whats the point?
or atleast knowing he wont try and fix it.
just makes me want to crawl up and cry.

this isnt fair, i wasnt suppose to feel this way.

love lost

so, im single.
and how do i manage this?
i sit alone and bawl my eyes out. i have been crying non stop since 3. i was okay for a few hours when i was with a friend but now hes all i can think about.

how can i let someone be so close and intimate with me and them just ruin me? rip my heart and stomp on it. i know its been said but i cant help it. i am so broken and lost right now.i  dont know what to do..

i love him, but why cant he love me back and treat me right.
isnt that the least i deserve?

silk

how is it that i can give someone my complete all and never get it back? how can i continue to go through this, and feel the pain almost every night but not let go?

how is it that i can give someone my all, and them not even care. not show one ounce about caring about my college course or my career in the making.

how can i do this when he has never even read any of my writing before? when it's been a year..

writing is my everything, writing is my release and he doesnt even care about it.

i wrote about us someday and i told him, and he said i dont have to read what you write.

he may not have to read it, but he should want to because it's what im going to do with my life.

im stuck, and i dont know what way to turn...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMihKmoYfe8&feature=autoplay&list=TLaLpzyzVXYiw&lf=artistob&playnext=2